Anybody you don’t agree 100% with is a “liberal”.
No matter how much of a jerk and a betrayer of your values the candidate is, ALWAYS VOTE REPUBLICAN!
Any website or source providing whatever data that you don’t like (talk.origins, WikiPedia, RealClimate) has a liberal agenda. (see #1)
Voting machines can always be trusted, but exit polls can’t.
Anybody who doesn’t believe in Biblical Creationism is an atheist “evolutionist”. (see #1)
Failure of the government to endorse your religion and proselytize it equals oppression of your faith.
People who disagree with your stance on the War on Terror are “supporting the terrorists” and are “anti-american”. (see #1)
You think that people who support a secular society want the terrorists to win.
Anybody who wants the state to keep out of the institution of marriage is pro-gay and a “sodomite agitator”. (see #1)
You think Fox News really is “fair and balanced”! (…and the rest of the media is leftist! ALL OF IT!)
You think that there were WMD in Iraq, and they have been found. Anyone who denies that is a liberal (see #1).
Abortion is murder, but capital punishment is A-OK (and so is bombing abortion clinics)!
WE ARE WINNING THE WAR IN IRAQ!!! (any day now…)
You know that the USA was founded on christian principles, and should be ruled according to biblical law. Never mind that the founding fathers were strongly skeptical of involving religion in political matters… (hey, they were probably liberals!… see #1)
You think anthropogenic global warming is a hoax perpetrated by useless scientists who only want government handouts.
You think that atheism is a religion.
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